I'll admit, I'm madly doggedly in love with my 2005 Ford Mustang GT. She's my baby, and all that. I've spent a good amount of time upgrading a few things to really make it MY car. Things like:

-Strut Tower Brace
-MGW Shifter
-K&N CAI
-Superchips (Brenspeed) tune
-4.10 rear end
-BBK 62mm throttle body
-Pypes muffler delete
-Ford Racing x-pipe
-new rotors and much more aggressive brake pads
-stainless steel brake lines

Why am I so terrified to get a new car?

I got a phenomenal deal (I took a big chance on buying it, and got super, super lucky). I'll give the back story:

I had a Tiburon before this car (always wanted a Mustang, but it was a bit out of my price range, and I was not going for a 4.0. No way) that I was trying to sell at the time. I really enjoyed this car, but as I can be extremely impulsive sometimes, I may have purchased one that wasn't maybe in the best shape. It had a great body and ran like a top (no trans issues or anything either) but it just needed a few things that I didn't notice when I was lusting on my test drive. So, I decided to begin the selling process. During that process I continued to drive it, and one evening I noticed that the brake rotor was squealing quite bad on my way home from work and I decided to drop it off at our local mechanic (tiny tiny town) and have them fix it in the morning before I went to work. Unfortunately, they have no key drop-off, but as it's a sleepy town of about 500 people (many in a nursing home) I decided that it was probably ok to leave the keys on the floor mat overnight. And it may well have been any other night, but not this particular night. Long story short, the car was stolen, taken for a joyride, wrecked, and the guy died in/out of the car. I later pieced together that the guy had been drinking (2x legal limit) and decided to walk home after the party. He was apparently angry about his ex-girlfriend trying to get sole custody of his daughter, so he saw the car as an opportunity to confront her about it in a town about an hour away. He only made it about 15 miles to a neighboring town where the police estimated that he was going 100+ mph over some railroad tracks and into a ditch, after which he ended up wedging the car between two trees. No seatbelt and was partially thrown from the vehicle. No airbags deployed either, which I still find a bit creepy to this day. Also, the guy had no ID on him, so the police initially thought it was me from the license plate, and came to my house in the middle of the night to break the news to my wife. I later talked to the officer, and he said he was freaking out about it because if we hadn't answered his next stop was to my parents house. Yikes.

Why am I so terrified to get a new car?

So, now I'm in the market for a new car! I still want a Mustang, but price range and all that. I scour the internet looking for something, and I come across a silver 2005 Mustang GT with about 65,000 miles on it. Higher mileage for sure, but its only a few years old and its a great price (12,900 if I'm remembering correctly) but its in Detroit and I'm in Kansas. Many hours of discussing with my wife later and I have a one-way ticket in my hand to go check out the car. *side note* I did promise that if it didn't meet my strict specifications, I would get another ticket home and come back empty handed. I told this story to a co-worker later and he teased me that I never planned on getting another ticket to come home, regardless of the outcome. He's probably right.

When I arrived at the dealership, I looked the car over with the checklist that I brought with me, and everything looks great. The salesman (whom I'd previously emailed back and forth) was amazed that I'd actually come all that way, and I ended up meeting most of the employees at the dealership because of it. He gave me the story that it was a married guy who traded it in for a Jeep because his kids were getting to big to squeeze in the back. Blah, blah, blah. I generally figure I'm being fed a line to make me feel better about spending money. I envision a 17 year old kid doing 65,000 miles worth of burnouts before trading it in, but funny story, I had rear seat deletes for a while in there and when I removed the rear seats I found a few kids toys! Maybe he was telling the truth. So, I took it for a test drive and that was it. I was in love. It's so fast that I'll never have to modify it in any way, I say to myself! So I hand the salesman a check from my bank (did I mention that I'd already gotten a loan for it?) and was on my way. All that was left was the drive back. Alone. Filled with excitement and no one to share it with. Why did I go alone, again? Damn, this is a long drive!

Anyway, fast forward a few years, and I've never had a single problem with it. Not one, not even problems with my modifications. I've only gone through one set of tires, and I'm at 107,000 miles now!

But, more and more I talk about selling her. Why would I do that? I see so many different cars out there, such fun things to play with! And I lust. Day after day I lust for things that I don't have. I look out at my ole 'Stanger-banger in the driveway and sometimes I just don't even fucking care. I just don't even. Screw it, I think. I'll just get a newer, better, prettier, better handling, car and I'll be happy. But then I think of selling it, and it fills me with dread, sadness, longing. I couldn't do that to her, could I? She's never done anything but bring me joy. Maybe its the sheer reliability of the whole thing. Maybe if I was constantly broken down at the side of the road, I wouldn't feel this way. Plus, I live in Kansas. Why the hell do I need a precise handling car in Kansas? Brute force is more fun in Kansas right? Has anyone ever seen a road in Kansas? It looks like this: ———————————————————————————————————

Plus, what the hell would I even get anyway? I can't get better HP/fun for the money, plus its all paid off. I guess I don't really know how to end this thing, so here's me not knowing what the hell is wrong with myself, signing off.