Twinkies, The Oppositelock Review

Since the dawn of man, people have wondered, "What doth life?" So many have tried to answer that question. It has been pondered and debated to know end. One great thinker, named James Alexander Dewer, sat down in 1930 and the answer came to him.

The answer, however, was not to that question.

James's answer was to what to do with the strawberry shortcake machines when the strawberries were out of season. He decided upon banana cream filling. Then World War II happened, so out went the bananas and in came vanilla. Thus, what we know as the Twinkie was born.

Hostess just came back from bankruptcy, so let's see how these Twinkies are.

Exterior:

Golden brown and soft to the touch.

The trademark three white dots of filling on the bottom

Interior:

Ah, now there's the cream filling! That familiar white stuff is still there.

Acceleration:

Goes down fast.

Brakes:

Doesn't expire until February 25, 2014.

Taste:

Like sponge and cream, you know, a Twinkie.

Toys:

The noise of opening the plastic wrapper can be used to summon dogs.

Verdict:

These are still the same Twinkies. Quite possibly the same Twinkies. Would eat again.