Tales of woe and horror of the dating world

Dating and marriage can be, almost too literally, a minefield of danger. All of us have had an experience with someone (or someones) who made us wish for the sweet release of death. I once explained to a friend that a girlfriend is like a Chrysler. They can be pretty, they can be pretty plain. Sometimes they're not wired up very well. Sometimes they'll be going 80 down an empty freeway and suddenly there's flames goddamn everywhere. Sometimes their turbo only works for other guys.

Oppo, post your stories of dating. Some of us need to be cheered up by others misfortune, because as the saying goes, misery loves a project car on a limited budget...or something.