When we last spoke I was basking in the glow of having taken a perfectly running 911 Turbo and converted it to a great example of why I should not have access to tools. Or the internet for that matter. It was a modest repair, a single 3.5ft piece of vacuum line. Around $2 bucks worth to be exact. That was Sunday of last week and between then and Friday I will be the first to admit, things may have gone a bit awry. I am not entirely sure where I turned the corner but it would appear I was doing it in a full opposite lock drift.

The black hole, $12 at a time. Owning an 80's icon, the Porsche 911 Turbo. Pt.7

After talking briefly with PatrickVR6 and some Pelicanites I decided that "While You're In There"(WYIT) I should remove the decel valve. This valves purpose is oft argued but the short version is that it functions as a buffer between the diverter valve and intake, causing revs to fall slowly. Whether for emissions or to provide a quicker re-spool between shifts, it makes removing the upper manifold a real pain in the ass. It can also be another potential source of vacuum leaks.

None of that really convinced me to bin a perfectly good part however. It was the cautions/warnings and protest from some of the Porsche folk. Their collective predicted outcome from removing the valve was dire:

  1. Removal of the valve could cause the diverter to make a whoosh noise when lifting out of boost.
  2. Removal of the valve will cause a dramatic increase in exhaust noise on deceleration, popping, crackling, gurgles etc.
  3. Revs will fall between shifts more quickly and not hang up increasing throttle response.

The black hole, $12 at a time. Owning an 80's icon, the Porsche 911 Turbo. Pt.7

These were serious concerns. If I did this then it was entirely possible that the 930 would sound…..hairy, uncivilized maybe even…..more obnoxious. Well this is certainly not for me. No sir indeed. Think of the hit to the resale value….think of the children.

So I set about removing the valve…

Deleting the valve seemed easy enough at first, in hindsight my newfound Porsche mechanic status/glow perhaps clouded my judgment. After consulting the Porsche Internet Quorum I had a plan. I needed parts, namely vacuum port caps and hose clamps. So I guess this was going to cost a little more money than $2 bucks. When I had the Scirocco the only thing you could buy on Amazon.com was books, I knew that because I worked for Amazon. Nowadays however Amazon is your window to cheap Chinese parts and tools. Additionally if you have Amazon Prime….well, if you own stock in Harbor Freight, sell it.

The order began innocently enough:

  1. 80pc vacuum cap assortment (hey, even comes in a neat case) — $8
  2. 8pc Bypass cap assortment (just in case I need some bigger caps) — $6, Porsche service is super cheap right?
  3. Hose clamps from my buddies shop (non-pinching type, hey I may as well get 3 of each and build a supply, you never know right?) — $35

Then things got a little hazy….

  1. Knipex high leverage dikes (made in Germany, have to have these to cut that ONE hard to reach annoying Oetiker clamp) — $23
  2. 4pc Stubby screwdriver set (finally I will be able to tighten both hoses on the back the airbox) — $6

And now we blast completely off the rails….

  1. 11inch long reach long nose pliers (I could use these to put the vacuum lines on the back of the motor w/o removing the damn airbox which has hoses I can't tighten because my screwdrivers are all too long) — $9
  2. 15inch long reach needle nose vise grips (these will be awesome to clamp the stripped screw/nut that is stopping me from replacing the tail light gaskets) — $13
  3. 8oz illy Moka coffee (hey, Im here right, gonna need coffee) — $16
  4. 8x6 Aluminum face plate kit (need something to mount the PLX gauge modules to for the AFR and boost gauge install) — $20

Stop me before I 'OneClick' again!

  1. Mityvac MV8000 Vacuum Tester and Bleeder kit (because of all the vacuum testing I do……) — $35
  2. Joby Gorilla Torch with Flexible magnetic legs (can never have too much light) — $25

I was in full on project supply binge mode. Then it happened. When I should have been dialing my Shop-a-holics sponsor I instead went to Pelican parts. I am weak. I can admit that now.

  1. 911 license plate light assembly x2 (when working on the motor every time I look down I see I have one cracked housing, so annoying) — $36
  2. Intake boot seal (WYIT) — $16
  3. Pressure pipe seal (WYIT)- $10
  4. Pressure pip to intercooler seal (WYIT) — $11
  5. Turbo outlet to pressure pipe (WYIT) — $10
  6. Pressure pipe o-ring (WYIT) — $4
  7. Vacuum connector 4way (no f-ing idea, it was in the turbo parts section) — $5
  8. O-rings x2 (No clue…I was just clicking randomly at this point) — $8

Total — Damn near $300 bucks with tax/shipping.

I collapsed, spent (literally). A single vacuum line replacement project had become a project 'too big to fail'.

To be clear, this was completely and utterly my own fault. I needed 8 bucks worth of vacuum line, I bought $292 worth of scope creep.

"Judgey dog thinks your in over your head."

The black hole, $12 at a time. Owning an 80's icon, the Porsche 911 Turbo. Pt.7

In my next installment I will go into detail how $300 bucks of good intentions left me on the side of the road with a dead 911. Thanks for tuning in, I am going to make some coffee and hide some boxes before the girlfriend comes home.


The black hole, $12 at a time. Owning an 80's icon, the Porsche 911 Turbo. Pt.7


Part 1 - Life with a legend, the Porsche 930.

Part 2 - Dear God, what have I done.

Part 3 - The choices we make.

Part 4 - Affix the supplemental oxygen mask to yourself first.

Part 5 - Back in the saddle again.

Part 6 - Old Dogs, Old Tricks