Stopped in to get some good ol' 87 octane for my murderous bumble bee yellow coupe and was just being a well behaved 20-something caucasian male when this ratty ass S10 parks beside me.


NopeCon 5 declared.

I didn't really pay any attention merely due to the fact that hey, this is the edge of Lexington; it's like a teenager going through the sexual-confusion phase or something; half the people here are normal average joes, the other half being bro-truck driving 'rednecks' that work at TGI Fridays or Best buy.

But then came the sound of stumbling feet, so of course I had to see what the hell was going on.

NopeCon 4 declared.

This couple was honest to doge taken right out of an Anti-Meth campaign: excessively spray tanned and severely wrinkled woman in her 40s wearing a spaggeti string top that showed off that gag inducing stretch marked muffin top, and the other being possibly a distant cousin of the guys from Duck Dynasty, the kind that you only hear in hush hush family gossip and will never see in person.

NopeCon 3 declared.

Of course this is when the pump was nearing the pre-paid amount and cut the rate of flow to a trickle, so I was stuck there. Helplessly left to scream internally. Ohgod why is she rubbing the spoiler...?

Maybe I'm just overly suspicious of people, I've seen some shit. Not 'charlie lurking in the bush' levels of shit, but more than I've wanted to see this early in life. Cut 'em some slack, be a cool guy.

That entire last paragraph can be sent through the woodchipper after my assumption of them being meth'd out was confirmed after this grotty woman began to 'talk':

"Hey...man, digging this mean hotrod you—-you got right here, man. Woah. You kno...tell me where to go to get on the interstate we are so lost man."

NOPECON 1 DECLARED. THAT'S IT MAN, GAME OVER. GAME OVER.

Oh it seems I forgot to tell you what exactly this track slaying hot rod is.

A 2006 Chevy Cobalt LS rocking that cute yellow shade of paint with some 'come at me' 5 spoke wheel covers that came -STOCK-. Crank windows. 5 speed gearbox that really makes you one with the machine. And not to mention an ignition switch that has decided to stop doing it's job twice now, (nearing 150 days for that 'fix all' replacement ignition btw). But yeah bro, you see this no-nonsense piece of american engineering and you have to ask yourself one thing: "Am I feeling lucky?" (Because you know, it might get you to point B without trying to kill you.)

{Holy crap I didn't realize how much I wrote. Do I get a thing? :o}