Sittin Waitin Wishin: Mitsubishi i-MiEV

What's that? Did you say you wanted a Electric car that is super cramped? Also that you want it to have a French cousin? With a top speed of a snail that's drunk off absinthe? You want it to be hopelessly impractical in every single scenario you could possibly think of? Oh and on top of that you want it from a manufacturer that will most likely not even be in the United States within 3 years! Wow. First, you are super picky. Second, is there something wrong with you that you can't answer back? I mean, all I did was ask questions, no response back. How rude you French loving, tree hugging bastard! Whoa, I think I have been reading Doug's stuff way too much, I think I just went into one of his crazy tirades, also I'm not wearing pants…. Meanwhile in Chicago, the frozen hellscape it is, we have a new Sittin Waitin Wishin, and in this episode, we dive into the murky odd realm of EV's with the Mitsubishi i-MiEV. Or as everyone here knows them, a car that makes the driver have a stick up their ass, and makes them feel like they are better than you, because they, unlike you, are trying to actively save the environment. They can usually be spotted doing 20mph in the left lane with many of these bumper stickers, because again, they are better than you.

Sittin Waitin Wishin: Mitsubishi i-MiEV

Sittin Waitin Wishin: Mitsubishi i-MiEV

(If your other car is a pair of heavy boots, why are you driving so slowly!)

As per usual with this series, we got the rant in early, which leaves us the rest of the space to talk about the car, and with this car, we have some stuff to talk about. i-MiEV mean's Mitsubishi In-Wheel Electric Vehicle, you know just in case you forgot the brand you were buying from, and with the current crop of Mitsubishi's, maybe that was good foresight. The i-MiEV is supposed to be a great small family car, with small being the operative word. The cabin of this car could not get any tinier unless you used some sort of quantum mechanics to shrink it down to the size of a babies left shoe. In fact, I think the shoe might have more space in the end. I won't get into the terrible display Mitsubishi had for the Chicago Auto Show, I'll save that rant for the Mirage review, but to say it was out of the way would be an understatement. I say this for perspective since Mitsubishi was the furthest in a corner main automaker at the show, and the i-MiEV was at the back of their display. I'm getting the feeling that this car is definitely not going to sell how they want it to sell. Two things really struck me about this car, first the size or lack thereof, and second how many electronics the people running the display hooked up into it. It had two iPads, and a bunch of LED Underglow in the rear seats of the car? Are you trying to show that it makes a great outlet, or is this a car?

Sittin Waitin Wishin: Mitsubishi i-MiEV

Sittin Waitin Wishin: Mitsubishi i-MiEV

(Boom chicka boom chicka boom chicka boom! DANCE PARTY!)

The steering wheel is lifted from the Outlander Sport, but has less functionality in it. It's missing key buttons that allow you to have hands free access to the cars radio. It also seems like they wrapped it in a worse material than most of the other automakers at the show, if that is possible. It feels really unfortunate to the touch, not so much as it's going to break, but rather it's like a Twinkie, or hot dog, you could leave it alone for the next 10,000years and it would be perfectly preserved, but would you really want to eat it? No. The central HVAC system also looks like they stole it from the Scion IQ. It has three knobs that go straight up and down, and have a clear plastic covering the dials. And again, it's the sort of clear plastic once used for gold fish platform shoes in the 70's. I have no idea why Mitsubishi did any of this, but none of this can compare to two of my favorite parts of this car. First the paint. Matte Grey, to you know, look racy. And to go with the Matte Grey color, one must have faux Alcantara seat inserts right! Nothing says I want to go fast like a small electric vehicle with a top speed of 81mph!!!!

Sittin Waitin Wishin: Mitsubishi i-MiEV

(Look out , get out of my way people, I have to save a whale stat!)

This car is just frankly ridiculous; the trunk is only big enough for a toy Chihuahua's foot, the interior is bland , cramped, and unpleasant, and the facts and figures belie a car that was made in the early twenties. How can a major manufacturer like Mitsubishi even get away at offering this car? It's unsafe, impractical and boring beyond belief, I don't even know how this car got green lit? It's as if the bean counters at Mitsubishi all were at lunch, and crazy cousin Saske came into the factory, bath robe and all, and told the workers they would be making this! Hooray Saske!!! It may be green, but it's candle sure isn't lit, and neither is Saske's, and if the way that the Mitsubishi display has anything to do with how this car will sell, it may be one of the biggest fizzles ever. And in the end, this green car may very well be a pretty environmentally damaging car, because all it will do is take up space at the local junkyard. There are better ways to save the planet people, one of them is just not buying this.

Sittin Waitin Wishin: Mitsubishi i-MiEV

(I know that says Kia, but imagine Mitsubishi or I will cut you!)

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