This, from Oppo, is pure brilliance. You can probably guess who Bernie Ecclestone is...
New pictures have just been leaked of the Red Bull F1 team's response to the cooling issues appearing in the Renault Turbo V6 F1 engine for the 2014 season. Sebastian Vettel can be seen here in a meeting with the Chief Engine Designer for Renault F1. Behind him is Adrian Newey.
Earlier in a press release, Newey responded to concerns: "Evacuate? In our moment of Triumph? I think you overestimate their chances."
Bernie Ecclestone has this to day: "Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. Your friends, out there using Renault engines, are walking into a trap."
Debut Red Bull Driver Daniel Ricciardo (pictured, on left) was asked how it would affect his chances in this coming season, and if he regrets his team choice, and whether or not he considered Red Bull's mechanical favoritism (such as the rumored traction control feature present on Vettel's car) He responded "I will not fight you, teammate."
Vettel immediately responded, "You are unwise to lower your defenses!"
Vettel's response is apt, given the circumstances of Daniel Ricciardo's wreck at Monaco last year, pictured above.
After repeated frustrations with testing the vehicles, Daniel Ricciardo brought his concerns to Ecclestone himself. Ecclestone responded "Your hate has made you powerful... now... fulfill your destiny and take your teammate's place at my side!"
Mark Webber (pictured on the right in this photo during the 2013 Malaysian Grand Prix) could not be reached for comment.
Our resident F1 technician suspects that the overheating is caused by a vulnerability in the exposed exhaust ports.
Here is a comparison of the 2014 and 2013 F1 cars, with the newer Turbo-powered one on the right. Significant weight savings have been made despite increasing size and drivetrain weight, and it may be aggravating the reliability issues in favor of speed.
This is good news for drivers such as Romain Grosjean, who now has the opportunity to shine as Lotus's lead driver.
Here is a picture of the Lotus F1 car, which was described as the "fastest hunk of junk in the FIA" This angle makes the controversial double-prong nose section very obvious.
Kimi Raikkonen, who in a surprise twist this year switched back to the Ferrari F1 team instead of Lotus, can be seen with his Teammate Fernando Alonso. He cited his movement for "Monetary reasons".
By comparison, the 2014 McLaren MP4-29 mimics the more traditional nose seen on other teams' designs. This is a departure from their previous design, very similar to Ferrari, that they fell under fire with when Mike Coughlan, chief Designer of McLaren, was accused of stealing technical F1 plans from Ferrari in 2007.
Pictured above: Mike Couglan stealing technical F1 plans.
Ferrari's head designer had this to say about Lotus losing Kimi: "Han ma boo-kee, keelee ka-lya dooka. Wadja da boolya ra Moy..."