"Like Oh My God, I'm a Dumb Blonde"S

Comparing a Ford Escape to a BMW, yeah, that's a good comparison. Seriously, most automakers, it's not hard to make a good commercial, Volkswagen has been able to do it for years, yet you all seem incapable.

Welcome to my new random series where I see a commercial on TV that is total shit and I bitch about it for good reasons, like people being scared in a Camry going over a few ramps, in the parking lot at Six Flags. Wow, just wow.

Ford, don't hire a dumb blonde who sounds really annoying and I want to punch her in the face. "Oh my god look, I can park with no hands, except this time the car parks for me instead of me adding to the million dents already in my car, it's like so totally awesome."

Also, stop hiring shitty actors that sound super condescending, especially when the commercial is for a hybrid, people already hate hybrid owners because they're obnoxious pricks, so don't add to it. And don't do it when you lie about the MPG's, that makes it even worse. And you so-called "green" car is the dirtiest car on the road. My 13 year old Mercedes that gets driven with a lead foot attached is greener than your ugly, slow, stupid ass C-Max, so stop airing a commercial where your actor, who is probably an actual C-Max owner, just spouts stupid shit.

Honda, you're doing an ok job advertising good reviews from car magazines. The commercials are no Volkswagen commercials, but they're good.

Subaru, your commercial about the back seat is where your daughter grows up is not well thought out; she's going to grow up in the backseat, but not in the ways you want. For those of you who may not get what I'm referencing, I'll be gentle, she's going to have sex in the backseat, as much as she can, sorry.

Stay tuned for more commercials, I don't expect automakers to change any time soon, or ever for that matter.