Jaguar Coupe or Coup d'état?

(This is the post where I take a break from ranting about wagons and informing you about the car-buying process and start a fight on the internet. I'm going to make a bunch of claims with dubious support at best and rustle a bunch of jimmies. I look forward to dodging your punches in the comments)

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I have never really been a huge fan of Jaguar's current offerings. They have made some nice cars, but for me, none of them has made a strong case against their competition. I suspect I am not alone when I say, the new F-type is the first Jag that I really want...badly. I will now assert that Jaguar has made the most desirable sports-car currently for sale. Notice I said "most desirable" and not "best" and I used the term "sports-car" not exotic (so comparisons to Ferrari and Lambo are out)

Jaguar Coupe or Coup d'état?

Despite Jaguar's claims that the F-type is a 911 fighter, it is not. They just said that because the 911 is the benchmark for sports-cars in that class, and they are supposed to say it is a 911 fighter. Jaguar does not give a crap about the 911. The Porsche is an icon, hardcore 911 people will always prefer their rear-engine teutonic instrument to anything else. The F-type does also not have the "bang for the buck" factor like the C7 Corvette, the elegance of the Aston Vantage or the physics defying lap-times of the GT-R. And none of this matters.

Jaguar Coupe or Coup d'état?

Notice how Jaguar never mentioned Ring lap-times for the F-type. Perhaps Cpt. Slow was on their development team. I'm sure they will take the super-high-performance variants and test them on that wonderful track, but again it won't matter. When Jaguar decided that it was going to take on the likes of Porsche and Aston, I suspect they came up with this strategy-

Jaguar Coupe or Coup d'état?

The F-type will beat its competition by selling something far more primal. You see modern sports cars have gotten away from why we buy sports cars. Despite our non-stop keyboard races as to which is the "best" performance car a good number of you required new pants at the mere sight an sound of that Jag without any mention of 0-60 times or top-speed.

Because here is the reality, most sports-car buyers make those purchases not because of what their chosen car can "do," they buy because of how that car makes them feel. Sports cars are not about practicality or rationality. They are about emotions and drives (the Freudian kind). You don't want to just "drive" the F-type you have the desire to do dirty-dirty things with it.

Jaguar Coupe or Coup d'état?

So really the next commercial should have that wonderful British accent say, "The all new Jaguar F-type coupe...why did we call it the F-type?...Because it's the car you want to F@#%."

(Photos courtosy of Jaguar USA)