Sorry, another depressive rant.

Have some velocity stacks for your time.

Ngh…. You know, it does seem sad that I'm writing these random depressive posts, am I…? If it's so, you may merely dismiss it as some pathetic guy just being dramatic. I just don't care anymore. If you're not and you're more than willing to listen to this messy story, then I guess I can commend you, or something. Anyways..

The only reason I could type this is upon knowing I'm just shunned in everything. Family, friends, school – I mean, I guess I'm that tall Asian guy that people could treat like a commodity, right…? I admit it – I'm a failure who couldn't get through college without slacking off or finally feeling like I'm at the end of my rope… And the mere fact that everything is for nothing – I'm just spending money on food, games, even music to shun myself from the world, or rather, leaving myself locked in my own room and trying to think I have my world with me, just me, my computer, my laptop, my consoles….

Apparently, human trust feels like a distant thing from my own spirit.

Like I said, I'm just that throwaway person for other people's desires, I guess… I even let my own folks do so… at the same time as I see my younger broth-no, encourage my younger brother to succeed as well as trying to help my closest friends, I feel like I'm just not needed in this world. This probably means my mind has finally snapped, yeah…?

I only have a small group of people I care about – my grandparents, my friends, even my special support group, but I feel like I'm letting everyone down. For that…

… There are times I muttered, "I wish I wasn't born or I wish I didn't exist." That way, no one could bother or worry about me. Right now, I just want to cry to sleep.