Last chance to change my mind - My first ever new car purchaseS

Well, I've made up my mind to get a new car here soon. I'm about 99% sold on the fiesta ST but I am never one to ignore opportunities.I am looking at two other alternatives and am willing to hear arguments for either. I am NOT willing to hear arguments for vehicles besides the ones I post.

Jetta GLI edition 30 - Cheaper @ 24k base price, and more interior room while also being much easier to get power from. But it is much heavier, and if I get it, I will bierwagen it as soon as I can and cover the front fenders with beer labels. It's awesome on an old jetta, but I'm not sure if it works on a *new* jetta. FWIW, the VW USA people gave me the thumbs up and said they'd love me to do a similar treatment on a new Jetta.

Subaru WRX - the outgoing model will go for cheap since the new one is coming in. Yes it's "not as good" but it is still an AWD turbo hatch with a manual. I can't deny that combo but it would be more expensive to insure thanks to people wrapping them around trees. Plus I'd be a subaru WRX driver and feel required to do rallycross.

Sonic Hatch RS - It's cheap.....and I can get one in blue, paint the front wheels white, the rear wheels red, and do a "Sonic the hedgehog" parody car for AutoX that I call "Sonic the Hatchback"........basically this is just cheaper and funnier but not better in any way. Not serious, but still a possibility for my dedication to jokes.

Hyundai Genesis Coupe - Because RWD 280hp turbo coupe. But it is much more expensive. And less practical. And much heavier. The Fiesta ST weighs the same as an FR-S.

Mustang V6 Coupe w/ Perofrmance pack - Again, RWD 300hp coupe. But it still weighs more. It has more potential, but I don't know if I can stand being labeled as a mustang driver.

Try and convince me otherwise! Who owns these cars? Why buy them? Your competition is a 200hp 1.6L turbo, 2750 lb subcompact that likes to tripod.