Calling all cars

Some beetles in Oaxaca, Mexico, for your time. Computer BS inside.

So, today I've had two of my three Microsoft Arc keyboards stop responding. The first one was this morning. It was the newest one (bought 2 months ago almost to the day). Brought the two from work home with me, to test some more, and see if I could figure out what's what. All have been swapped to different USBs on three different computers, new batteries, and now the oldest one (on my home desktop) has also stopped responding. I figured, one, hey, no big whoop, just a faulty thing. But then to have the oldest one ALSO stop responding, on any machine... This seems improbable at best.

WTF is going on? How do I stop/fix it? I'm honestly at a loss, at this point.