Best Gawker Gift Guide RepliesS

Considering the amount of golden material Opponauts/Jalops posted on this piece of shit article, I thought I'd compile a list of my favorite replies. I'll keep it to a concise top ten, in no particular order with a couple exceptions.

10. Jalopnik author Patrick George's post takes the cake, hands down. Racking up an unheard of number of stars, his short, sweet message was made all the more satisfying coming from his place of authority in the community. A true master of words.

9. Leave it to $kaycog to bring the titties out. I like tits, so this makes the top ten.

8. 190e30 perfectly describes the Jalop life in his post. The manual diesel wagon that was supposed to be included got Kinja'd, oh how ironic Gawker. Well done.

7. I think if I got what Decay posted for Christmas, I'd be happy. Fuck a fireplace, I'd rather have a mundane symbol of environmentalism burning in my driveway!

6. Nothing like some ol fashioned senseless trolling to combat... well, senseless trolling. Übel hits the nail on the head with the hotdog troll (linked post only one of the 1000 frank posts by Übel).

5. MtrRider can be heard loud and clear from the greyed-out abyss with the first .gif I've actually saved and some three-pedal advocacy. My kind of post.

4. Leave it to a NaturallyAspiratedV12 to be loud as fuck and come in with the most blunt and obnoxious post of them all, with German cars to boot! I love it.

3. You know, at the end of the day, that poor sonofabitch J.K. has a point. Cars are awful for the environment, there's no denying it. But do we give a fuck? HELL NO! 911e46z06 lets those pussy hippies know we don't with his clever recommendation of a Sawzall. Smoke for everyone!

2. noise brings out one of Oppo's favorite ladies, Mila Kunis to help support the cause. I'd be the Smokey to her Bandit annnny day.

1. In light of all this, us Jalops must remember the answer is always Miata. For Sweden and slebano4244 bring our beloved recurring joke to the hell-hole of that article, and let the world know, we don't want your hippie bull shit, we just want Miatas.

Somehow, my post, in which I tried to include photos of the things most hated by bus-riding, hookah-chiefing, scarf-wearing, Al Gore-loving hippies arose from the grey into the glorious white section. I'm stoked. Nothing like clicking on a Gawker article to find Rick Perry with a gun, Chick-fil-a, bro trucks and a no recycling symbol.

Disclaimer: My post from Gawker I linked touches on some pretty inflammatory issues and I wanted to prevent any sort of political throwdown on Oppo (especially in light of our friendly "get to know you" session last night). I have political and social opinions, just like everyone else, but absolutely HATE discussing them because the only thing political talks are good for is getting everyone pissed at each other. My post on that thread was made for the sole purpose of saying "fuck you!" to those car-hating shitheads over there. It's extra shitty they played us like that because I was actually pretty amped for a solid list of car-related stuff I could buy. I know most of you probably realized that right away, but I wanted to be sure to include this disclaimer so anybody with a strong opinion on any of those issues who's tempted to chime in is strongly discouraged from doing so. If anything political shows up in the comments, expect immediate dismissal.