2014 Porsche Boxster: the Oppositelock Review

Porsche's entry level sports car, the Boxster, was probably given to most journalists in "S" guise, leaving the car with the base engine largely ignored by the automotive community. Today I'm going to address this issue by reviewing my dad's leased Boxster.

(Full disclosure: My dad was crazy enough to lend me the car a few times, including one outing to an Autocross event. What a nice guy, amiright!?)

Exterior: 8/10

2014 Porsche Boxster: the Oppositelock Review

Ok so this car looks good. Curves in all the right places, tailpipe in the middle, and big-ass twenties on all four corners. (these wheels come at a hilarious price, as you'll see later). The daytime running lights really highlight the luxury and premium feeling that emanates from this car when you see it coming down the street. I love how the spoiler is built into the shape of the headlights, so CLEAN uuuughhh. It does get a little less awesome once you see another 5 Boxsters on your way to work. The specialness wears off after the first new 911 passes you. You are in a peasant's Porsche, after all!

Interior: 9/10

2014 Porsche Boxster: the Oppositelock Review

There are two reasons why I didn't give this interior a 10/10.

  1. The screen in the middle is a touchscreen. Fuck touchscreens in cars. But everything on the screen can be controlled via buttons as well. Thank Jesus.
  2. The cupholders are USELESS. They've been putting these same kinds of cupholders in their cars for years. And they just keep on doing it like there's nothing wrong with them! You're fuckin' up Porsche!

Everything else about this interior is unbelievably good. Soft leather everywhere. The (optional) sport steering wheel is so nice to hold, and the paddles are nice to pull. Everything just has a solid feel, just like your favorite luxury car. This interior is a perfect example of where Porsche is going with the brand and what kind of people they're marketing to.

Acceleration: 5/10

2014 Porsche Boxster: the Oppositelock Review

This car is not the fastest car. In fact, I was expecting a little more than what it has. This car is in the same price range as the C7. This will not keep up with a C7 on a road course. It's...meh. Sure you could bang it down from 7th to 3rd gear,(this is what the transmission does when you ask for speed) but then you shouldn't have to.

Braking: 8/10

2014 Porsche Boxster: the Oppositelock Review

The brakes work. They work GOOD. Great even! They are not ceramics, because those are like, mad expensive yo. But they are an option!

Ride: 9/10

2014 Porsche Boxster: the Oppositelock Review

This car somehow communicates the road better than my Fiesta, yet rides about twice as nice. You feel every bump, but it doesn't rock you sometimes like the Fiesta does. It's so compliant. How did you do it Porsche?! Nice job!

Handling: 8/10


above: Look I'm famous! (as fuck!)

This car's handling makes up for all of its power issues. It is simply amazing. The car's mid-engined, RWD layout is perfect for turning. And with all of the traction stuff turned off, much fun is had around an AutoX course. The turn in is so immediate, it makes my car (which is ultra fun to drive) seem like an understeering piece of shit.

Gearbox: 8/10

2014 Porsche Boxster: the Oppositelock Review


Blah blah blah best transmission ever blah blah blah.

Also, I like how aggressive the clutch is. Taking your foot off the brake engages it and pushes you forward. It's quite satisfying.

And something strange happens when you're cruising in either 6th or 7th gear and you take your foot off the gas and start coasting. It takes the car out of gear, and it drops to idle engine speed. It's cool because MPGs, but also makes engine braking non-existent, which is annoying sometimes. When you put your foot back on the gas it puts it back into gear and tries to play it off like nothing ever happened. I saw what you did you sneaky gearbox!

The two reasons I didn't give this transmission a 10/10:

  1. It's not a manual.
  2. It doesn't stay in the gear I want it to even when it's in sport mode and the gear selector is in the manual position. Wtf, I want you to stay in second, so stay in second! I KNOW BETTER THAN YOU. It happens in the AutoX video above.

Toys: 7/10

2014 Porsche Boxster: the Oppositelock Review


(this is a picture I found on the internet, the car I tested doesn't have a sport+ button, nor does it have a sport exhaust)

There are two neat things that stood out tech-wise.

  1. The start/stop feature is standard in this car. I'm pretty sure it is on all of their models. And unlike my mother's 328d, the start/stop works every time you come to a stop, and is much smoother than BMW's system. Very unobtrusive and helps with fuel efficiency. BUT, nothing makes others think you can't drive stick more than when you're waiting in line to get into a car show in a sports car with stop/start.
  2. Ventilated seats are a gift from the gods. I hate that every car doesn't have them now. The only worthwhile option on this car actually.

Audio: 8/10

2014 Porsche Boxster: the Oppositelock Review

I was pleasantly surprised by the sound of this car's exhaust. I worried that without the sport exhaust, it was going to be pretty muted most of the time like a luxury car or something. But no! That sweet Flat-6 sounded amazing and loved to be revved. And when put in sport mode, it makes crackles!!!! On the base exhaust! Fuck yes!

I never turned on the radio or anything.

Value and Practicality: 6/10

2014 Porsche Boxster: the Oppositelock Review

Just take a second and expand the above picture. Then laugh your ass off. This car starts at around $50k. With all of these pointless options, (lolseatbelts), this car's MSRP is over $63,000. AND THE WHEELS COST MORE THAN THE FUCKING TRANSMISSION! FAIL. This car is not worth it for that kind of money. But for $5ok maybe.

One cool thing you probably didn't know, you can fit a body in both the front AND the back trunks. It's a very practical car that can easily be DD'd.

2014 Porsche Boxster: the Oppositelock Review

Also, why did Porsche do this? "Yeah, let's waste a whole dial on the dash on a speedometer, when we have a digital one showing the speed in the middle at all times anyway?!"

Engine: 2.7L H6

Power: 265 HP at 6,700 RPM/ 206 LB-FT

Transmission: Seven-Speed Dual Clutch

0-60 Time: 5.4 seconds

Top Speed: 162 mph

Drivetrain: Rear-Wheel Drive

Curb Weight: 2,954 LBS

Seating: 2 people

MPG: LOL

MSRP: $50,400 (like $13k more as tested)